Tuesday, Aug. 16, 2005

6:31 a.m.

Today is the first day of school. KidOne is in first grade, KidTwo is starting kindergarten.

I have received detailed instructions about how I'm expected to act at school.

From KidOne:

1. No hugs or kisses at school. Hugs and kisses are to be distributed at home, before we get in the car. And if I say "I love you," he is likely to spontaneously combust.

2. He would prefer that I drop him off outside and watch him walk in. If, however, I must enter the building, I am to drop him off at the door of his classroom. Under no circumstances, even if his teacher is on fire, am I to accompany him into the room.

3. Whatever condition his hair is in when we get in the car at home, that's the way it will stay. I am not allowed to touch or fix his hair at school, nor should I suggest in a voice louder than a whisper that he do it.

4. No pet names are to be used when I say goodbye. I should say something simple like "Bye, KidOne," or "Have a good day, KidOne," or even "See you later, KidOne." I will be immediately disowned if I say any of the following: Buddy, Sweetie, Honey, Baby.

KidTwo's rules are not as strict:

1. I must say goodbye at the doorway to her classroom. BUT, I can hug and/or kiss her.

2. Pet names are allowed.

3. I am allowed to cry, but not in front of her teacher.

I am expecting a few tears this morning. I hope I don't embarrass the kids too much.